Creativity is not my thing today

I suck. My apologies everyone. To tell you the truth, I think it says more about my experiences in Seattle not writing in my blog than it does actually keeping it up. Maybe this means I'm actually out enjoying myself...or maybe not. You never know.

Sorry, no new picture updates either. I'll work on that one though.

You know when you're in Seattle when...

it's cold and it's only October.

That's actually all I've got today. My creativity is pretty low given that I've been working my butt off! I work 5-6 days a week and between both jobs sometimes doubles. I try and plan something every night with someone, or try to do something. It's going relatively well. I'm not much of a fan of having my life on a schedule, but I think I can make due for now.

Awakening finally came in and Mel gave it to me to finish reading. I take about a page at a time because it's a pretty intensive read. It makes you think a lot about your life, virtues, values, priorities, relationships and what actually matters to you. The whole Sufi experience is just a new theme. I love it. It sets my mind at ease to be able to sit and meditate and just think about all the ideas and thoughts that matter in comparison to the ones that do not. It's incredible how much of your life you spend dedicated to a priority that if you wrote out a list would fall at the bottom. Do you think what you're doing right now will be important or pertinent when you're ninety? Then why are you doing it?! "For by ignoring the needs of your soul, you run the grave risk of dying in despair." It's kind of crazy because I was actually thinking about this the other day on my drive to work. I've been trying to come up with my next big purchase...I'm between a bike, a kayak, or a snowboard. I'm trying to make all of these justifications or reasons or places I'd use them. In the end it's only about whether or not I know I will. I feel like I know myself pretty well, however, the only conclusion I came to with this conundrum was the idea that I can't stand the place I work.
Funny how far off my thought process will stray. I'm actively seeking another job looking into something outdoors, with animals, or once again anything within a lab. I'm just not a person that wants to serve others interests anymore. Yes, it's good money. Yes, it's a pretty simple job. Yet, I dread going to work every day. I can't wait for my days off to walk around in this beautiful city. I want to take a ferry to Friday Harbour and go kayaking. I want to see the San Juan Islands. I want to drive to Canada for my first trip to the Maple Leaf country. I want all these amazing experiences, yet I sit at work dreading that next day to repeat the exact same scenario over and over again. I've been doing this for almost four years now and I think it's time for a change. I need to do something I love, work someplace I care about, do something that feels right. This is not it. I feel like I'd be incredibly happier elsewhere. So, that's the position I sit at now. AND since it is a GORGEOUS day out today I'm going to go for a run before I meet up with my friend Kate to see The Social Network and grab sushi.

I hope you didn't invest too much interest in my ramblings because I think they're a bit of a disappointment today. I'll work on the excitement!